


leave a message after the beep

by renquise



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Post-Episode 69, kind of, like one-sided epistolary correspondence.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 08:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19742218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renquise/pseuds/renquise
Summary: Jester has twenty-five words and she's going to use all of them.





	leave a message after the beep

"Yasha, we're coming back to get you! We, we, we had to leave, we had to tell people what happened, but we're coming back, we're—"

—

"It's okay if you can't answer, Yasha. Can you, like, hum a little? Just so I know you can hear me. Or cough! Or sing—"

—

“We’re waiting for an answer from the Bright Queen. We told her what’s going on, and she was liiiiiike, not super super happy about it."

—

"Nott isn't doing too well. She's worried about Yeza. I hope he's okay. She's still drinking. I don't know what to do. I wish I—"

—

"I'm so tired. I'm happy I saved a spell to talk to you, though. We’re really really bad at fighting big nasty things without you."

—

"Caduceus finished the other half of your hat. I think he needed something to do with his hands. It's pretty! Nott put flowers on it."

—

"Fjord says I should save my spells but oh man I saw this cool bug. It was all spiky and it totally suplexed another bug."

—

"I keep on asking everyone if they have something they want to say. I don't know if they think I'm silly, sending messages to you."

"It's not that they don't want to say anything! It's just—everyone is afraid to hope, and I think that's bullshit, but it doesn't change anything."

—

“I’m lying in your room right now. I painted like, five more dicks in the flowers. You’ll have to find them when you get back.”

—

“I miss you, Yasha. I miss you. I miss you. I’m going to keep messaging you until you can answer. I miss you. I miss—”

—

"Everyone is so sad and scared. I'm so scared. You must be, like, really really scared, though. You're all alone. But you're not alone, okay?"

—

"It’s okay that you don’t want to talk. Or if you can't. I’ll keep going! You're going to hear alllllllllll about what is happening. Today—"

—

“I can write you a poem. It’ll be a new form! You get twenty-five words, and you have to rhyme, even though rhyming is haaaard." 

“There once was a girl named Yasha. Her muscles were big and strong-a. She plays the rock harp, and her sword's real sharp, and her—"

—

"Okay, so I need to work on that. The last line was reeeeally good, too! You need to write me one back. A good one."

—

"We're going north, Yasha, to find Caduceus's kiln. Can I tell you a secret? I don't know if it's going to help. But we don’t—”

—

"Beau almost died today. She's, she's fine. Don't worry. The Traveler helped. Fjord is keeping an eye on her. We need you, Yasha, we really—"

—

“Why won’t you answer me? Is it because you can’t? It’s probably because you can’t. Is anyone being mean to you? Are you eating okay?"

—

"The Traveler would tell me if the message wasn't coming through. So you can hear me. I think that's how it works. So that's good."

—

"The Stormlord better be looking after you or I'm going to kick his butt so hard. He better be sending all sorts of nice storms."

—

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile! I haven't had any spells left lately, even though I tried really hard to keep them."

—

“I’m done being sad, Yasha. We’re coming to get you, and we’re on our way. You don’t get to argue! We’re coming. We’re coming. We’re—”

“Yasha! Yasha, you sang! You sang back at me! Was that Celestial? Do I need to get Caleb to translate? I don’t know if I—”

—

“We’re coming to get you. Caleb says sit tight, be careful, take care of yourself. Nott says that she has more flowers for you, and—”

“Caduceus says that he's learned to cook gross spider for you. Beau is pretending she's not crying. Okay, I'm crying a little too. And Fjord."

—

“THE LITTLE SAPPHIRE HAS ARRIVED. WHERE CAN WE FIND YOU? Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot—”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [leave a message after the beep [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385630) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass)




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